Dear, Benevolent Yuletide Writer:

I am easy. My requests regarding the respective fandoms, as you have seen, are minimal, but if even these seem unduly restrictive, then please feel free to ignore them in favor of whatever scenario you want to write. Like everyone else, I appreciate coherence, good characterization, decent grammar, and the use of spell-check, but I am happy to leave the details of the story itself up to you. Just make it good, please :)

Tags: cracked-out wingfic with assbabies, spirit of giving, yuletide
mood: whee, presents!

I signed up for yuletide and am more or less expecting to be assigned a recipient who wants something re: a particular Japanese TV show, which would be absolutely fine by me, since I was toying with writing something for/about it even before it occurred to me that yuletide might possibly provide some much-needed external pressure that would push/shame me into producing something semi-concrete instead of merely telling stories in my head. It doesn't really matter what I'm assigned, however - I just like writing for challenges. This is my first time with this particular challenge, and I'm excited (as I always am with challenges) and also fairly confident that I will have some sort of last-minute existential crisis that will have everyone but me believing that I am going to bail. I never bail.*

I know this happens with all challenges - certainly with my beloved remix - but for some reason I'm really noticing and being somewhat boggled by various posts I see scattered about wherein yuletide participants are fretting about what stories they will receive. No doubt my motivations are less generous and more diva when I say that I care much more about what I give in a challenge than what I will be getting, but still...is it really all about the getting and not the opportunity to do? Building up a lot of expectations about any gift--especially one that will probably be from a complete stranger--seems like a virtual guarantee of disappointment.

There's a new BL/yaoi publisher looking for submissions for a BL fantasy anthology and I'm fiddling around with a story for that, as well. I don't like to read most fantasy books (never as thrilled with other people's made-up worlds as I am with my own), but I've got plenty of ideas and this is a good excuse to write one down (see above: re storytelling in head).

And since a post from me seems to mean either a piece of fiction or a dead animal, I must report that the male parakeet, Berry, has been put out of his giant-tumor-related misery. However, we seem to have inadvertantly adopted a second dog. Mr. Jones is mostly displeased about this turn of events, but I think he'll come around.

Has anyone read Gordon Dahlquist's The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters? I'm writing a little coda to it (and who knows when I'll finish it), and I'm curious if anyone besides me has any familiarity with the source. V. enjoyable book, btw.

*Okay, I did bail on a challenge, sort of, right after I had to put my dog to sleep. I did finish and post the story in the next few days, but I technically didn't meet the challenge, although I think dog-death makes my noncompliance somewhat forgiveable. Also, I am always late with my remix submission. I'd offer to do some sort of penance, but the likelihood is that I'd just blow another deadline in the process.

Tags: dead pets, less generous more diva

( CSS vs. hard code )

( Supernatural )

Tags: blood doesn't dry red, complaining, css, i (heart) tables, supernatural
music: Goldfrapp - Oh La La

I'm going to be moving my fanfiction to a new domain in the near future and will be revamping the site entirely. I have decided that I'm *not* going to put the fan art up again, except for covers made for me, and probably those made by me. All other fan art will be taken offline, so if there's something you like, you might want to get a copy. It's here. "Gift Images," "Crack Van Covers" and the images posted as adjuncts to my story pages are the only stuff off-limits, as stated below.

I've never stated a policy re: fan art before, but I will now: Feel free to use my fan art images* to make icons or to incorporate into your personal site designs. I would prefer that you not use my work as a base for your own fan art (i.e., something presented as "Look what I made!"), but I'm not really in a position to stop you - let your conscience be your guide. If you use my work, I'd appreciate some minor form of acknowledgement - just crediting "jed" is enough, no link necessary.

*This DOES NOT include covers, either made by me or for me. The impetus for making a cover is entirely different than that for making other fannish images, at least for me. They are absolutely off-limits for any and all purposes.

Upon checking, there are a couple broken links. I have no idea why these don't work, but I'm not likely to fix them, since they're coming down anyway.

~~~

In other news, I am actually working on finishing up some SV stories, as well as an AnK fic. Expect me to post something...eventually. Since I thought it would be last week and that clearly didn't happen, I'd now be content with finishing something by the end of the summer.

Current Location: clutterville
mood: superorganizationalish
music: Thom Yorke - Black Swan

Title: Joyeux Anniversaire, Cher Albert (Dirge for Solo Piano)
Remix of: Joyeux Anniversaire by lefcadio
Fandom: Gankutsuou
Author: velvetglove
Rating: PG-13 at most
Spoilers: MAJOR for Episode 18.
Summary: Franz recounts Albert's 15th and 16th birthdays. What a difference a year can make.

( lotsa notes, since almost none of you are likely to know what Gank-whatever is... )

**************

( Joyeux Anniversaire, Cher Albert (Dirge for Solo Piano) )

Tags: remix
mood: mixmistress

I love Remix. Love it. It's my favorite challenge by far. In fact, I had just promised myself to not participate in any more challenges when this round of Remix was announced, and I couldn't not play.

Title: All Is You and Here (Burning Bridge Remix)
Author: jed (velvetglove)
Fandom: Yami no Matsuei
Rating: NC-17 - graphic sex
Spoilers: Anime and corresponding portions of the manga
Summary: What if there were no knock?
Remix of: All Is You and Here by ranalore

Notes: Rana's original is a sequel to her story, In Your Arms, This Lonely Place. My story is perhaps better described as an alternate sequel than a remix. I would encourage anyone who plans to read my story but hasn't read In Your Arms and the original All Is You And Here to do so. These are wonderful stories, and it was my fondness for them, as well as for Rana's particular take on the extracanonical possibilities in YnM, that led to my remix choice.

Many thanks to alee_gothphyle, pun, and She Who Must Not Be Named for last-minute beta. As always, my friends are gracious and accommodating, and far more patient with me than I deserve.

Rana's title was taken from the song Broken Bridge by triphop piano tinklers Daughter Darling. At the risk of sounding stalkerish, I will admit to enjoying all of Rana's listed music choices, as well as the entire Daughter Darling album, Radiohead, and Spangle Call Lilli Line during the writing of this story.

There are (very mild) warnings at the end of this post for those who...like warnings, I guess.

~~~

( All Is You and Here (Burning Bridge Remix) )

( Warnings behind cut )

music: Daughter Darling - Shattered

I've been doing some reading on the Remix Redux III: Reloaded site, and I've got a few recommendations in random fandoms.

( Remix Recs )

mood: go read!
music: Tori Amos - Suede

The Remix Redux: Reloaded archive is open! Whoever* remixed my excuse for twincest story Siamese Twin is a GENIUS!

This author takes the idea of a cloned Lex and uses it to examine the Lex-Lionel relationship and the nature of identity but, most importantly, suggests an extremely plausible explanation for some of S4's serious deficiencies without refuting show canon. It's seriously brilliant.

Oh, and the dirty twincest angle is still very present :)

Go read Conjoined Twin (Separation Anxiety Remix) Go! Shoo! Get busy!

I couldn't be more thrilled. I feel very lucky :)



*I'm pretty sure I know who it is...I'll doubtless let you know if I was right when the names are revealed.

mood: giddy
music: sirona's mix

Mr. Glove: It's his birthday today. Whether he's misterglove or tubenerd, he's still four years older than me. Actually, until my birthday next month, he's five years older than me. He's been feeling old lately, so now I'm just rubbing it in. Well, at least he's got a hot wife.

she wore blue red velvet:So, I am going to make him a cake, and I got the idea it ought to be red velvet cake, and now I need a recipe. I'm looking online, but if anyone has a red velvet cake recipe they know will turn out delicious (providing I do it correctly), I'd appreciate it very much it if you'd share. I am capable of baking pretty well, actually, but I'm still expecting unnecessary delays, missing ingredients, and inaccurate measurements to mark the occasion.

where did she go? fromward. Where is she? Everything okay?

mood: betty crocker
music: West Indian Girl - Hollywood

( blue plasma god )

huh? I was friended by that self-appointed moral arbiter/troll person, and it never occurred to me for an instant that this person's desire to associate with me (whatever the motivation) reflected upon me in any way. I mean, there's "friend" and there's "friend of" and depending on how you choose to display your info, it's pretty clear whom you have chosen to associate with. So why are so many people fretting about being tagged? If someone wishes to ineptly impart some "wisdom" or a scolding that I don't actually warrant, they're certainly entitled to attempt it, but I don't have to read it, take it to heart, or even care.

manga disks: Okay, I feel really stupid, but I managed to mess up my organizational system (i.e., a heap of stuff fell off my desk) that told me who I'd sent disks to, and who was still waiting. I think I've got it sorted again, so if you haven't gotten yours yet...it's in process.

ETA: gothphyle wrote me a cruel little ficlet about a pairing that horrifies us both to the point of full-body shudders, yet fascinates with its repulsive allure. So, I wrote her one back in comments :> She also did a cute QaF one for rhiannonhero - they're f-locked, but read them if you can.

mood: cro-mag
music: Unrest - Loyola

I return to tales of injustice and perceived slights, opinions as facts, snubbing and cliques. Ah, fandom...you never change.

At the risk of stirring up resentments, I would like to say thank you very much to those who declared their anonymous love for me in the valentine post. I am flattered, and am also fairly certain that I love you in return :)

Insert long and vitrolic (and repeatedly revised and ultimately deleted) rant here re: fandom involvement, assumptions of closeness and the fallacy of community, and whether I really do want to continue sharing details of my real life with ~350 people and a seemingly large number of lurkers. Also, whether or not I am obligated to do so (hint: I'm not).

~~~

Yesterday, Casey and I were attacked by a pit bull. Miraculously, no one was hurt, although Casey's head was soaked in pit spit and I got a light scratch from someone's claw. I guess the dog park isn't meant for fiercely protective little herding dogs and their very stupid sheep. I really wanted it to be fun for both of us, as I could certainly use a little more human contact, but it's not worth risking the dog's life.

Instead, we go on long walks either around the neighborhood or on the greenway trails. Because he's very pretty, Casey gets a lot of attention when we walk in the neighborhood, though he's not particularly interested in meeting strangers or being petted by them. Some woman in a car stopped me the other day and wanted to know if Casey was a boy or a girl, what kind of dog he was, etc. It turned out that she wanted me to let Casey to fuck her dog so that she could see what kind of puppies they'd make. She had four kids along in the car with her, but I was very polite and didn't ask if that logic was how she came to have so many children.

~~~

Hey, you nice people who have friended me recently because of my SV involvement? Just be aware that most of what I post now is squee about manga, stories about my dog, and pictures of my hair.

~~~

I have way too much to catch up on, so I probably won't be able to actually do so. If I ought to see anything in particular, please let me know in comments.

mood: snappish
music: Lara St. John - Bach Partita #2 in D Minor (Lara kicks Hilary Hahn's scrawny ass)

To Do:

• take car for oil change, since that little light is actually telling me something.


• make pasties and g-string that look even more naked than usual.


• consider cutting into ridiculously expensive fabric for own dress that could get made in time for burlesque show Saturday night, but probably won't


• check bookstore for second wave of new manga titles (having picked up others earlier in the week).


• get fishnet tights, since I can't find any of the ones I supposedly have around here somewhere.


• read e-mail. Answer it, even.


• take deep breaths.

tee-vee: Enjoyed both Veronica Mars and Lost this week. I did actually figure out the VM storyline long before the end, which was a first for me, and I didn't think this episode was the best...but that's really just splitting hairs, since the show is awfully damn good. Logan's request did surprise me, though. It's a great set-up for a season-long arc for next year, assuming they're going to use it that way. I've been wondering how they're going to handle a new season with the promised conclusion of the Lilly murder case, and this is a very natural-feeling way to put Veronica into the thick of it yet again.

We're almost caught up on Lost - we still have to watch episode 12 - and it was nice to see a new episode in continuity instead of going back and forth. I actually haven't liked Charlie (and I'm not a fan of Dominic whatsit) up until now, but the character is growing on me, and I do love his interactions with Claire. I get the impression that there are a lot of fans convinced that Locke is a dangerous psycho and I'm curious how one comes to such a conclusion. He is a sort of post-crash spiritual zealot, certainly, but I'm not sure he's endangering anyone but himself. As for sex, I'm not particularly seeing slash, but I'm loving the Jack/Kate/Sawyer triangle and if anyone has a fic rec along those lines, please comment!

Even though I'm not watching Smallville, I do sympathize with some of the people on my f-list who are posting about the plague of negativity re: the show. I can tell you from personal experience that if it really, truly bothers you, for whatever reason, not watching at all is a perfectly satisfying option. If I ever finish any of the many-dozen SV stories that sit idle at the moment, it will be because I stopped letting the actual program (and its creepy, pandering network) annoy me.

shiny discs: We got a lot of new music recently, and I've been listening to the new Bright Eyes albums pretty nonstop. My fantasy scenario had dissipated a bit, but I'm right back to imagining me = art teacher and Conor Oberst = sensitive student in full surround-sound and Technicolor. Also, Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings are fucking amazing, and we're kicking ourselves for not seeing them when they were in town recently. We could have seen them for free, even! We are going to see Elvis Costello at the Ryman in March, and I'm really tempted to drive 500 miles (the closest they're coming) to see Arcade Fire in a couple weeks. Has anyone seen them live? Is it worth a 500-mile drive?

( gay werewolves: )

mood: I should eat something...

Having wandered off for a few days of reading actual books, muddling through household chores, and having a nice snog or two with the Mr., I missed out on the unveiling of this wonderful cover for my story Anticlimax made by my dear isagel.

This story is one of my own favorites, and I was just thinking that it really ought to have a cover, even if I was going to make it myself. Which now I don't have to do :) Please go take a look, and congratulate her on a job well done!

~~~

I got my Remix assignment...and I get to remix exactly the person I hoped I'd get! I must have some sort of special favor with the remix gods, as during the last go-round I was remixed by the participant I most wanted to get my name. The pressure will be good. It's been awhile since I've written anything--or at least anything that I have then finished. Apparently there was a WiP amnesty thing in recent days and I (obviously) didn't participate, but I do know I have at least two Ai no Kusabi stories, at least five Yami no Matsuei stories, a Saiyuki snippet, and about forty SV WiPs all languishing. I am not willing to admit defeat on any of them, though.

~~~

I have what is apparently a really bad movie to watch - The Wolves of Kromer - but I couldn't resist the idea of gay werewolves. We were already calling Casey the "prettiest werewolf," so it seemed obvious (if perhaps inaccurate) to start calling him the gayest, as well.

~~~

I am going to wander away again, and probably won't be paying a heck of a lot of attention to anything online for a few more days, but hopefully some of you are receiving your CDs/DVDs from me. The rest will be mailed over the next couple of days.

mood: skittish
music: Bright Eyes - something off Digital Ash in a Digital Urn

in_my_purse was pointed out by the lovely lostarcadia, and I am 1) thrilled that such a community exists and 2) mortified to discover that it's mostly teenagers or women in their very early twenties, and now I feel like someone's mom trying to be "cool." I posted a picture of the contents of my purse anyway, of course.

( blah blah purse )

Such a peculiar desire, to want to look inside other people's purses (it's a joke almost making itself - there's a sticky, Freudian glaze practically dripping from this sentence), but it's comforting to see how many others share my strange affliction. And should anyone reading this wish to share the contents of her purse, please do go post a picture.

music: The Decemberists - The Sporting Life

yaoi disks: I got all flouncy the other day and said I didn't want to take the time to beg people for their addresses...but I'm going to beg ask nicely after all. I wasn't smart, and I burned all the disks and labeled them and made fancy covers and congratulated myself on my many talents before counting the number of addresses I had actually received from people. I'm guessing some of you changed your minds, and that's fine...but I've got all these data DVDs languishing in a heap and it makes me disproportionately sad that they are unclaimed. The CD people were much better about sending me addresses, but some of you need to get with the program, too ;)

So, if you said you wanted a DVD and you still really do want one, then please e-mail me your address. It will fill my wizened little heart with glee.

cowgirls: I told Kicky I thought she should do a cowgirl routine, which means making a cowgirl costume. Making this definitely does appeal to me, though I think I really want to wear the cowgirl costume myself. I wanted to go the 60s TV cowgirl route, which means a circle skirt and crinoline with the cowboy boots and hat, but Kicky wants chaps. Since she's the one who has to wear the costume, I guess we're going with chaps. Now I have to figure out how to make breakaway pants that won't be obviously designed to be torn off so that she can still be wearing the chaps when she's down to her bikini bottoms. We're going to have a moral dilemma about the toy guns, I just know it - but how can you be a cowgirl without at least packing squirt guns?

The good thing about chaps vs. skirt is that with chaps she can ride a stick horse in a vulgar and suggestive manner. I'm also thinking she needs a rubber-stamp branding iron with which to claim audience members.

I also have to pick a song. I'm was hoping to find something from Bob Wills & the Texas Playboys, but thus far I haven't hit the exact right thing. Patsy Cline might do, but most of her songs are too slow or the lyrics are not conducive to burlesque. kd lang is another possibility, though again I'm not sure which song. Ditto Ranch Romance. Any suggestions for a cowgirlish song that would work for striptease?

haruki murakami: I broke down and bought Kafka on the Shore in hardcover, even though I prefer paperback, because I just can't wait two years or however long the publishers plan to hold back before the softcover release. So far (about 100 pages into it), it's typical Murakami, which is exactly what one wants when choosing a Murakami book, so I'm pleased. I'm very glad I decided to read The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle a few months back because I loved it and much preferred it to Norwegian Wood, the only one of his books I'd read prior to that. I just read an interview where he talks about Norwegian Wood being different from everything else he's done in that it's a realistic story (as opposed to the whimsical/sinister scrim of magic realism he usually writes behind). Maybe that's why I disliked it so. I prefer fantasy worlds to real ones at almost every opportunity.

~~~

Okay then. Off to the post office.

mood: busy bee
music: West Indian Girl - Hollywood

( Buffy S7 )

~~~

I signed up for Remix Redux III, having really enjoyed (in retrospect, anyway!) participating in the last round. I hope I get to write something other than SV - such as YnM or Saiyuki - although whoever gets me is going to have to remix SV since it's the only fandom for which I have "three or more" stories posted.

Speaking of which, I didn't watch Smallville. I didn't tape it. For those of you building SV-squee filters, I'm neither an enthusiast nor a font of negativity about the show. I'm just not watching it any more. Filter or drop me as necessary although, fwiw, I have no plans to alter my f-list based on fandom involvement or lack thereof.

~~~

Burning CDs/DVDs for people is ongoing, but I don't have addresses for about half of the people who said they wanted one. I'm not going to beg anyone to give me their address so I can send them things for free, so if you really want the disk, please e-mail your address to me sooner rather than later. Otherwise, I'll assume you have changed your mind. Also, to clarify what these disks are: English-language scanlations from various groups that I have downloaded, most via IRC. They are manga, not anime. They are mostly yaoi - like, 95% (except for the special, man-appropriate disks I am sending seattleforge).

~~~

I don't know why I feel compelled to show pictures every time I get my hair done, but...I do. I just do. My hair now matches my dog. In order to demonstrate the pet-resembling nature of my hair, I crawled beneath my desk in order to take our picture together. The dog does not like the flash, and has learned that when the red light on the camera goes on, the flash is not far behind, and he makes a lunge for it. So, there's only one semi-decent picture of us matching, but there are pictures nonetheless: ( glorious, glorious hair )

mood: inexplicably morose
music: TV on the Radio - Young Liars

So, this Lost show, despite ( spoiler ), is pretty good, huh? Are there any Lost comms for meta/speculation (but not spoilers, please!), or any specific fans doing meta re: the show? I have some ideas I'm organizing for a post, but I'd much rather participate in something ongoing than clumsily duplicate discussions that have already occurred.

mood: fizzing
music: Sneaker Pimps - Low Place Like Home

foreign tongues: While doing a search for a picture of an old Tab can (don't ask), of course I ended up hitting the Coca-Cola site and their press center, full of exciting images of Coca-Cola products. In addition to the multiple images of Diet Coke with Lime, there are international product campaigns available for perusal, including Hong Kong's Sprite on Fire and Thailand's Fanta Mango Megenta. I think it's probable that the Fanta tastes like hypersugarized, purple-dyed mango, but what about Sprite on Fire? Chili-lemon-lime? That would probably taste better than cinnamon-lemon-lime, but not by much. I don't drink Coke or any Coke offshoots, or really any soda at all, but I'm dying to know what Sprite on Fire tastes like.

yay! yaoi! I'm clearing space on my hard drive and burning stuff to disk, including things I've promised to people, and since I printed a lot more covers than I need - and since cover paper costs more than the disks do - I'd prefer to use the extra covers instead of throwing them out.

If you have a DVD player in your computer, I have ~4GB DVD data disks full of manga, mostly yaoi. The stories range from the innocent to the sick, and there's a "read me" file that points out the fairly small number out of that 4GB I think are particularly worth your time.

If you can't read DVDs on your computer, but do have a CD drive, I have ~750MB data disks with a pared-down selection of my favorites which, again, range from the innocent to the unnerving.

If you want one, please answer the poll so I can figure out how many to burn and then E-MAIL me your address, even if you think I already have it, because I lose things.

Poll #421140 yay! yaoi!
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

which format can your computer read?

In other news, I'm really enjoying Lost...which I just realized is on right now and I'm missing it.

mood: sick of burning CDs today
music: TV on the Radio (I have no idea what song this is)

I now have episodes 1-12 of Lost!

~~~

holy fruit pie, batman: This site has probably been noted by comic fans already: ridding Batman of that pesky dignity.

~~~

( LJ and the elderly )

mood: decrepit
music: Trembling Blue Stars - Sometimes I Still Feel the Bruise

Packages mailed out to people who claimed the freebies.

~~~

Dog has the worst breath imaginable, and a better diet doesn't seem to be having any effect. Imagine a fetid turdcake sprinkled with turmeric left in a hot oven overnight, and that's what he's been huffing in my face. Still, he is eyecatching and fun to play with. "Who's the prettiest werewolf? Casey is! Yes, you are! You're the prettiest! Good boy!"

~~~

Was rude to bumpersticker-selling Boy Scouts this morning, and only later realized that, although the BS organization is homophobic and creepily Christian, the bumpersticker sellers were just little boys, and I could have said "No thank you," instead of scowling and waving them off as if they were autograph seekers approaching a famous verison of me in a public restroom. Besides, I'm a hypocrite: I don't approve of the way BS is run, but we have two big boxes of their microwave popcorn in the cupboard. Mr. G buys it from someone's dad at work. It's really good.

~~~

Rolled around on the bathroom floor in fishnet tights and heels trying to take pictures of own legs while fending off the rather worried dog, who made repeated attempts at throwing himself on top of my head. It must be very taxing being stuck with the responsibility of herding such a stupid and unpredictable sheep.

~~~

My new purse is purple. Well, technically, it's red-violet.

~~~

I want a cookie, or some candy. Or something.

~~~

(yay! it's back!)

mood: it all built up inside me

ETA: Yay! I think I'm covered. Thanks!

baaaa. I want to play, too.

Lost. So interesting! So many fucked-up characters! So many possibilities for fic! I so want to see the beginning of this show, but I can't find a functioning torrent anywhere, and I've had a hunt on for the past two weeks. If anyone has any of the first eleven episodes that you could share somehow, I would be most appreciative.

Anyone able to help me out?

~~~

I'm pretty sure it's gostoffer whom I have to thank for the Sneaker Pimps Becoming X album. So, a thousand thanks ;)

~~~

seen @ my dear dougiefelchtone: ( spot-on high school stereotype quiz )

mood: baaa baaa baaa
music: Sneaker Pimps - Water Baby

For journalkitten because elke_tanzer said so, and it's a good excuse to use my new camera ;)

( It really is pictures of my kitchen sink. )

mood: helpful in stupid ways

There's a thread going on in a stranger's journal about what Anonymous Anyone hates about fandom. There are some names named, but it's mostly bitching about general categories of people who 'ship one way or another, write men as girls, etc., and it is mostly Buffy-related, so I don't recognize many of the people who aren't going anon. I'm wondering how this thread is any different from just bitching in your own LJ under your own name. I certainly understand that if you're going to attempt to harpoon a BNF, you might enjoy the anon, but if you're just complaining about 'ships...who cares? Or is that a huge issue in Buffy fandom? Like, if you pick the wrong 'ship, it will go on your permanent record, and thus your opportunities in life will be diminished? Unfortunately, the converse doesn't seem to be true, and picking the "correct" 'ship never delivers the riches and acclaim that really ought to be forthcoming from involvement in a pyramid scheme of media-derivative bickering. Or maybe it's only the BNFs at the top who benefit...you should have gotten in on the game sooner.

If there have been those kind of wars in SV, I missed them. Not that we haven't had plenty of stupid wanks in SV, but I just don't remember this particular version. If you 'ship Lex/Lana, you won't get as much attention or understanding as those who 'ship Clark/Lex, but it seems more likely that you'll be ignored than villified for thinking that way. Not that being ignored feels nice, but it's usually fairly neutral in intent.

Bitching is easy. But so is being positive.

Thinks I Like About Fandom:

• Source material. When it's good, it's really, really good, and when it's bad, it's horrid. But usually pretty, which is why it still has fans despite the quality issues ;) In fact, often the more horrid the source, the better the fandom.


• Community. Hmmm...I'm a woman who likes to read "erotica" about two guys gettin' it on. I wonder where I could meet other women who share my interest without ending up in a chat room talking to a dubious "woman" who will end up stalking me? That place would be fandom. Finding other commonalities with fans makes it even better, but simply having one weird/perverted/dirty thing in common with hundreds and hundreds of people is...validating.


• Encouragement and Support. Write, post, get responses. Do art, post, get responses. Prove to yourself that you can produce material people are interested in. Try new things. Improve through doing more work. Meet other people who do similar work, then discuss and/or collaborate. And if you whine about your life every now and then, people tend to sympathize.


• Inclusion. Anyone can play. It's more chaotic than democratic, but it's open, at any rate. I know there are jerks who do try to keep others "out" or curtail other fans' involvement, but it's really not possible to quash someone entirely if they're determined to participate. Everyone can find someplace within fandom, as involved or uninvolved as they wish to be.


• Insidious cross-breeding. My next potential fandom or burning passion may be as close as my f-list.

So, whatever.

~~~

Also, I added a few more FREE things to my last post. See if there's something you want.

mood: a shining example
music: Sneaker Pimps - 6 Underground (who did I get this from?)

Remembering things is something that I'm selectively ridiculously good at, but for general purposes, it seems that I remember nothing. I have memories going back to my infancy, and I remember what people said and did, but I don't remember appointments and, if I'm enjoying myself, it never occurs to me to look at a clock. I'm late, usually, and I don't have a good sense of how long a given activity will take. But if I'm not interested or entertained, time drags and my impatience increases until I'm actually angry. I am usually restless before a mediocre movie is over (to the point of just leaving if I'm by myself and Mr. Glove isn't there to protest that I'm wasting a ticket), but I can spend literally hours doing some picky little thing that engages me, drifting in a zone of pure action and wordless thought so pleasureable that it is always a grave disappointment to reemerge into a world regulated by clock hands and expectations.

I just found my old Palm Pilot in a box. It was dead, of course, and had purged itself of every single bit of information I'd put into it, including several programs I had purchased and a huge database I'd created to, um, detail commercially available cut rose varieties by name, color, form, grower and a plethora of other infinitesimal factors. (I was going to be a florist once upon a time.) While the loss of data is disappointing, I'm no longer needing to compare and contrast, say, degree and type of petal curl between similarly colored varieties from different growers, so I suppose it's no great tragedy.

Obviously, the PP will help with remembering things, scheduled appointments, etc., so I'm very pleased to have found it. However, while inputting the new data I could not help but note that the PP weighs kind of a lot compared to the little phone and super-adorable little camera that I carry around with me already. Also, it's has a dim, monochromish screen - black on...that ugly greyish beigeish greenish screen color. I'd like to have something new and shiny with a color screen and, although I love the little phone I've had for a few months, it's not like I'm married to it. Mr. Glove and I have been discussing switching cell carriers from Sprint to T-Mobile. We've been with Sprint for five years, but they don't seem to value long-term customers and their coverage sucked the last time I drove I-40 cross country. If we do switch, we'd consider getting Blackberry phone/organizer things or Sidekicks instead of plain vanilla phones. I'm leaning toward the new Blackberry phone vs. a regular Blackberry or a Sidekick.

So: anyone have good or bad experiences with T-Mobile? How about with a Blackberry or Sidekick? How comfortable are the PDAs used in phone mode as opposed to a regular cell phone? We're in no big hurry to do this (plus, those phones aren't cheap), but I'd like to gather some empirical data from real-life field testers if at all possible.

music: Sondre Lerche - Two Way Monologue

( I have a hard time throwing things away... )

mood: screaming parrots
music: screaming parrots

( six apart and article on salon.com )

mood: faux-smart

I had been waiting for the rain to stop, but it wasn't stopping, so I took the dog on a walk. It was a bit miserable, though probably mostly for me. A wet sheltie turns into a sort of...feltie. We had a long brushing session anyway, and he drooled and leaned against me in a manner I choose to interpret as adoring.

I'm continuing to organize my work area, which is a somewhat daunting task. I was looking for some empty boxes and was instead diverted by a full box that contained many of the treasures that I've been missing. Glass skulls and miniature fans and bees in boxes and broken mirrors. Pictures from magazines, postcards, art projects, a self-portrait (with horns). And photos! Of me! Including one of my all-time favorites!

I'm indulging in nostalgia here. I'm feeling very fond of younger me. Also - WARNING: the all-time favorite is basically a nude photo. However, you can't see anything particularly "nude" in this one, so you be the judge of whether or not you wish to view such a thing.

( photos of a young jed, rather random )

mood: waxing nostalgic

( Lost )

( Alias )

( Smallville (with a casting spoiler) )

( Veronica Mars )

mood: channel flipping

Actually, it's bitching about fannish things, but that's still fannish, right?

Has there been some cross-fandom kerfuffle involving the already-arbitrary story ratings system? I have read at least three stories in the last few days that were rated R but had no sexual content, no violent content, and no swearing. Admittedly, when I see an R, I hope for at least some groping and am disappointed if it's not there, but if there's no sex, then shouldn't there be - at minimum - a few bruises or perhaps a line or two of creative cussing involved to justify the rating? Are people just afraid their stories won't get read if they're rated PG-13?

When I read a story that's rated R yet involves no pulchritude, fisticuffs, or off-color language, I feel like my chain is being jerked, hard. I hate that feeling. It chafes.

Added to say: FYI - All the stories I'm referring to were entries in the Yuletide challenge, were therefore in somewhat obscure fandoms, and I have no idea who wrote any of them because I haven't checked back since the names were posted. So they probably weren't written by you ;)

mood: my neck is sore from all the j

I need more shelves. I need to not stack things in precarious, teetering heaps. I need to not knock said heaps over because it 1) scares the dog, 2) scares the birds, and 3) breaks stuff, not to mention 4) makes a mess.

The closest I'm coming to a resolution this year: I must have faith that neatly-stored possessions do not undergo a Schroedinger's cat type of phenomenon and will still exist when I need them again. This is going to be hard.

mood: concocting theories of tidiness

My head is buzzy, like a hive.

( women's work )

( in which I shop )

( smile for the camera )

( aztec camera )

mood: autofocus
music: Aztec Camera - Down the Dip

Went to New Year's Eve at local lesbian bar, where Kicky, etc., were doing burlesque stuff. Saw all my costumes in their glory. Cheered and made enthusiastic noises to hoarseness. Danced with Mr. Glove and assorted females completely unknown to me. Apparently, danced with someone's girlfriend or something, as some fucking bitch accused me of throwing a glass at her, when I was actually trying to pick broken glass up off the floor so no one would get hurt. Threw huge hissy fit and stormed out. Cried for about an hour, as pretty much any dyke bar I spend more than a few hours in produces at least one unprovoked confrontation. I like to dance. I'll dance with anyone. If your whorish girlfriend wants to dance with whorish me, just fucking chill, you bitter, repressed cunt.

Mr. Glove is a sweetheart. We're watching Taxi Driver. I am repeatedly reminding Mr. Glove that my name would have been Travis (although not Travis Bickle) had I been a boy. He's being very good to me and my sorrowful OCD behaviour.

I could start crying again at any time. Why do girls hate me?

mood: angst-ridden

Today, I have sewn sequins onto bra cups, and have padded an already-padded bra for maximum boobage. I have burned my fingers with hot glue while reassembling a set of huge ostrich feather fans. I have spray-painted sandals metallic gold (they need at least one more coat). I have knelt behind a woman dressed in fishnets and gold panties and tried not to stick pins in her ass while attaching beaded fringe. It is 10:30 and I am tired.

If anyone has tracks (besides Oblivious) from Aztec Camera's High Land, Hard Rain to share, I would appreciate them ever so much. We've been listening to the vinyl obsessively, and I want to be able to keep up the fixation in the car, as well. Oh, and Roddy Frame (Mr. Aztec Camera) is Scottish. More proof that the Scots do everything perfectly.

I have a bunch of old fur pieces (some with heads!) which came from my grandmother. Many of them are gorgeous and in good condition. I used to wear the fox wraps in the winter, but times have changed and I don't want to have paint thrown on me. I realize I'm in Nashville, not in Seattle (where strangers might feel perfectly justified in lecturing me about wearing fur), but I'm having West Coast fur guilt. So, tell me...

Poll #409396 what's the statute of limitations on fur?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Is vintage fur acceptable winter wear?

We had the pleasure of the company of rhiannonhero and Mr. Rhi for a snacky sort of dinner last night. Both Rhi and I had long been convinced that Mr. R and Mr. G would like each other, as both are guitar-playing audio-geek fine-artist types with deadpan humor, and yesterday was the first time that everything worked out so that we could put them into a cage together to observe their behavior. They started talking about speakers right away.

I hadn't seen Rhi since October. She accused me of being both short and greatly reduced in dimension which is 1) untrue, and 2) flattering and probably true. The shortness was due to her high heels and my bare feet. I was required to put on shoes to return balance to the universe. She's so pretty! and so nice! I was overcome with the pleasure of being with her again, and because I hadn't seen her in so long, I was shy! After I drank some wine, I relaxed ;)

Rhi gave me a beautiful woodblock calendar (the very one I had been thinking about buying for myself) and loaned me books on ADD. She also shared her Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon (is that his name? the Liam Neeson character) doujinshi, which was beautifully drawn and included everything possible in manga sex except for kitty ears. I insisted on burning a bunch of manga on a disk for her, as well as the YnM anime series. They had to leave way too soon, but I really don't see why they had to leave. We have a guest room. They could live here, after all.

( juvenilia )

( yeah, it's about pills again )

( unexpected gift II )

( ETA: link to photographer's site and images added here )

( burlesque eyes )

mood: gifted
music: Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #1

I have Xmas issues. It's probably enough to know that without getting into specifics.

Our first Xmas in Nashville, we didn't want to participate in the holiday, so we ignored it and all of its attendant schedule changes. Like, say, the fact that the store that was open until midnight on the 23rd closes early on the 24th and isn't open at all on the 25th. As of Xmas morning, we had no food in the house. There was surliness all around. We eventually got in the car and drove around looking for something that was open. We looked unfestive and ugly, wearing mismatched pajamas and dirty hair, and we blamed each other with both word and pointed glares for the sucktasticness of the day. Thanks a lot, Baby Jesus. Finally, we found a place that was open: Krispy Kreme. We drank surprisingly not-horrible coffee and ate cold doughnuts in sick-making quantities. Even though it was food, I wasn't satisfied. KK doughnuts have a weird chemical taste, and that thing they call a cruller is a joke.

I think that was the year we had a tree, though.

The next two years in Nashville, we made sure we had food in the refrigerator. One of those years, we even fought about whether or not I would ever get over the absence of food in the fridge in 1999. I think we saw a movie in 2001, but I don't remember what, and it could just as easily have been in 2000. I want to say it was Royal Tennenbaums but I really don't know.

In 2002, I was living alone in Seattle. I drove north to my parents' house which took about six hours instead of the usual 1-1/2 due to incomprehensibly huge volumes of traffic. I watched part of Ice Age with my nephew and was amazed at all the homosexual innuendo. That is a very gay film, though my sister-in-law rejected my assessment out of hand when it was offered. The nadir of the visit was the universal agreement that I was the heaviest that anyone had seen me. Which was true. I ate pie anyway. I definitely felt sorry for myself.

Last year, I felt sorry for myself and watched both Amelie and Hard Core Logo. The surliness + PJs theme reappeared. Mr. Glove made me food and I was unappreciative and cranky.

I think this year will be different ;) Rhi and Mr. Rhi are going to be in Nashville visiting relatives and then visiting us! I am very excited to be spending what is usually a contrary day, at best, with friends. (Not that Mr. Glove isn't my friend, but in the manner of many ungrateful spouses, I basically decide he doesn't count as one when the truth of the matter gets in the way of me wallowing in self-pity.) We will have pie and chocolate and real food, as well. Also wine. I'm feeling oddly positive. It's quite pleasant.

The refrigerator is full this year. I checked.

Mr. Glove is making pies!!!

mood: yay!

You know what's really gross? ( Well, let me tell you... )

( That medication thing again... )

mood: washing my hands a second time
music: The Arcade Fire

Snagged from shaggirl - ( year-end writing round-up )

If you write fanfic and haven't done this meme yet, I would encourage you to do so. I love knowing what other writers think of their own work.

Seen everywhere: ( three on a match )

( sometimes I just start typing and don't know what I'm going to say - or - fumbling art share with a brief TMI )

mood: tangential
music: Air King Sound